Brain Scramble ...

Momus is suffering from a serious lack of focus, or closer to the truth , Momus is suffering from too many things to focus on at once. I think perhaps I need a spiritual advisor and a vacation. Any Episcopal churches or retreat centers out there that could make use of a Chief Domestic Officer for a few days ? A week or so washing dishes for a vocational community, I can make some monster desert. Can you get online virtual spiritual advisors? Oh well, I’m sure my brain will eventually congeal back into some sort of usable mass, at some point. Until then I will muddle through.

Shopping for churches ...

The conduct of the clergy in our church has become such a detriment to the spiritual health of our family that BigDaddy and I are shopping for a new church. Unfortunately the nearest Episcopal Church (aside from the one we were attending) is forty miles away and not in our Diocese. It isn’t the Episcopal Church we wish to get away from, just this particularly unhealthy one. At this point we are considering the local United Methodist church for occasional attendance and driving to another Episcopal church within our Diocese once a month in order to stay in good communion. BigDaddy and I are very involved in various activities in the Diocese and refuse to give that up because of the atrocious behavior of a few individuals. BigDaddy is the most laid back; go with the flow sort of guy that you’ll ever meet, so you know it’s getting bad when even he heads for the door. So, its church shopping we go… which to me begs the question, if you could go shopping and pick out a congregation that would fit you, what would it look like ?
What would be your qualifiers and what would be the things that would send you running for the door? Inquiring minds want to know.

God Bless The Brigade

Here's three cheers for the smoothest run unit you will ever see . They sneak in, accomplish their objective and vanish into the night with most people never realizing that they were there. Theirs is largely a thankless job, but they understand that it needs to be done. I'm sure they get tired of it and I'm sure that they, on occasion, even complain about having to be the ones to do it , but I have never seen one of them shirk their duty. There seams to be a great deal of camaraderie amongst the Brigade especially since it is a group that very few actually ask to join. The requirements are few , but those that exist must be adhered to ...
1) You must be female
2) You must be at least 65 years of age
3) You must be made of a "strong moral fiber"
Being a widow is not required, nor is having white hair, but does seem to be a trend.
They are in most places a loosely affiliated bunch, although there is a division of the Brigade in my area who call themselves the Merry Widows , they meet weekly to discuss battle strategy over
muffins and decaf . They are often given mocking names by those outside the group. In my congregation they are referred to as "The Graces" for at times ,especially if you don't agree with them, it takes a significant amount of grace to deal with them. BUT , if you removed The Graces our church would cease to function in under a week. As would other churches and social organizations across the world , I am fairly certain. GO ahead, I dare you to try to plan a funeral with out them. I have been mulling this over in me noggin for the last week or so especially in light of recent events, that FEMA should not be run by the government, but by The Brigade .
Things would get done quickly, smoothly, efficiently and with lots of coffee, tea and cookies for every one. Less politics ... more practicality .... LONG LIVE THE BRIGADE !!!!

Congregational Apathy

Well, it happened . After all of the begging and pleading , we could not find two people in our congregation who would volunteer to teach Sunday School once or twice a month. What causes a congregation to get to this point. The vast majority of our members refuse to engage in any church activity that requires that they devote more than 15 - 20 min. per month . We had a yard sale for one of our outreach programs this past weekend , people were glad to drop off their donated items, but no one volunteered to stay and help .( With the exception of the same 3 or 4 people who do almost everything else. ) No one wants to be responsible for anything, most will say, "just call if you need anything" . I've come to find out, through my tenure on vestry and as Chris.Ed. director, and verger, and news letter editor, and choir member and lay reader and Chalicer, that the "anything" people are talking about consists of picking up some soda and cookies from the grocery store down the block and dropping them off before what ever event we are trying to plan actually happens . I truly do thank God for the handful of dedicated volunteers that my congregation has, unfortunately most of them are , like myself, stretched to thin. I am so disgusted at this point I'm not sure what to do. Resigning as Chris.Ed director was my first reaction. I guess only time will tell. Now if you will pardon me , I must go and develop a Sunday School plan that will work when only taught once a month.

Momus is in a quandary ...

Boy did my moral compass have a hissy-fit today , I was reading the news as I am usually loathe to do (ignorance is bliss after all) , and came across a lovely headline stating that Pat Robertson is calling for the assassination of the Venezuelan President !
Robertson , founder of the Christian Coalition, has decided that Hugo Chavez is a “terrific danger” to our country because he aims to make Venezuela a " launching pad for communist infiltration and Muslim extremism” . Just out of curiosity, is it possible to be a communist and a Muslim extremist at the same time ? My first reaction was that Pat Robertson has finally gone off his nut. Here is the leader of a major Christian organization calling publicly for the murder of another human being. Sounds a bit wrong, does it not ? Mr. Robertson’s justification is this … "We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability," Why you may ask … Pat says … “it’s cheaper than starting a war " BUT THEN my moral compass did it’s little turn south . In a way , I have to agree with Pat Robertson (something I NEVER would have thought possible) A couple of well place assassinations here and there could have helped avert some of the most horrific moments in our history … ie.. Adolf Hitler. With out his magnetic personality , the Third Reich would have come to it’s end much sooner. I’m not saying that every disagreeable dictator should suffer some fatal “accident” , HOWEVER , neither am I opposed to using the type of diplomacy that comes with a .762 shot to the noggin’ , if the situation calls for it . I guess the hard part is who gets to decide that sort of thing and how . What sort of a barometer does one use to gauge the value of one life over another. Would I loose any sleep if Sadam Hussein had an unfortunate run with the Grim Reaper ? NOPE !! But I don’t think making a martyr of him is a very good idea either. I have found that I could argue both sides of this coin all day long with out having to invite any one else into the argument. On one hand , I believe the taking of an innocent life to be a vile thing , however I have no problem with the death penalty at all. Provided it is applied justly . To me the blatant murder of another human being is wrong , but at the same time our small town has recently seen one of its residents charged with molesting at least fifteen children , and molested another child while out on bond in some other town … I would have no problem at all with seeing him swing freely in the breeze , perhaps I could even find it in my heart to provide the rope . I guess that is why we have “situational ethics” . Momus is in a quandary .

The Great Sunday School Rebellion

We had a planning meeting for the Christian Education Dept. Monday evening and as the Chris. Ed. Director, I was obliged to attend. What a disaster that turned into . Does anyone out there have the secret to getting dedicated volunteers ? What is so terrifying about elementary aged children that makes my congregation refuse to volunteer to teach Sunday School ? The two teachers that I have for that age group have been teaching for a number of years and have been very flexible and committed to the program, however they are getting ready for a change of the guard more or less . They informed me if I didn't come up with at least two more teachers , so that they would only have to teach every other Sunday, that they are gonna quit. I am willing to jump in and teach that age group (I have done it before) so really I only need one person who would commit to teach every other Sunday. Priest , to her credit, was trying to help come up with a solution which so far is begging from the pulpit . YouthGuy and PostulantWoman were carrying on their own little conversation in their own little world paying no heed to what we were trying to work out. I'm thinking perhaps next time I should let those two just have their own meeting. It would have been real nice if one of them could have volunteered to teach one of the younger classes , they could alternate. But in retrospect, I have never seen either one of them very eager to work with the younger guys . They both have a "passion for the youth" instead , fine and wonderful except that we only have two "youths" in our "youth Dept" who show up on a regular basis. I'm praying for some Divine intervention, until it comes, I think I'm gonna break out the church directory and start begging.

The new "root of all evil"

A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of attending a conference sponsored by the national Episcopal Church called "Will Our Children Be Stewards ?" . The title it's self poses a question worthy of much thought and discussion. If only the answer could be hashed out at a 4 day conference. While I applaud the church for asking the question and inviting me to join the discussion, I am a little worried that perhaps the church is spending a great deal of effort fighting the wrong fire. The main theme of the conference seemed to be that media advertising , especially that which comes from the television, is the root of all our children's issues and their parents problems. We were given stacks of statistics on how much the advertising industry spends targeting our children and how many American children are now overweight, diabetic and clinically depressed because of it . According to several of the speakers the scenario goes as follows ... Little Mickey and Sarah are your average American children . Each week these children are taking in a full 38 hours of commercial media, that doesn't include internet, billboards and the "omnipresent brand logos" that bombard them every day. At least four times per day Mickey sees an ad for McDonald's and as a result Little Mickey is now seriously overweight because he insists on eating at McDonald's at least three times per week. Because Little Mickey is overweight he suffers from low self esteem and has become a behavior problem in school and is put on anti-depressant medications to help combat this. In the mean time across the hall Sarah is watching MTV with its ever present ads for the GAP and Old Navy and their message that if you don't wear our brands you suck as a human being. Sarah then goes to school and terrorizes the children who can't afford to live up to the MTV cultural norm. In the eyes of the speakers there is an obvious cause and effect going on in these situations . I agree, however I do not feel that the answer is to get congress involved by passing a "Parent's Bill of Rights" that would ban television advertising aimed at children under twelve years old. It would forbid schools and such organizations such as PTA from having sponsors such as Coca-Cola because they in turn give out freebies with the Coke logo on them. Here is where the conference leaders and I part ways , I have no doubt that the average American kid (mine included) sees way to much commercial advertising , however I don't think it is the responsibility of congress or the church to fix it. The answer is not to ban all advertising and commercial sponsors for such functions as PTA , most schools and related childrens programs are so under funded that sponsors like Coca-Cola and McDonald's are desperately needed. After much though and deliberation I have come up with a plan to combat such advertising nightmares and "marketing-related diseases" in children that I would like the church to consider endorsing , if not in place of the "Parents Bill of Rights" at least along side it and given equal billing. My solution is called "The Act of Personal Responsibility" and is goes as follows....
If you don't like your children drinking excessive amounts of the Coca-Cola products that are being advertised on the pencils that the PTA is selling for a fundraiser , then don't buy them excessive amounts of Coca-Cola products. If Little Mickey is becoming overweight because he watches four ads for McDonald's everyday ... pull the plug on the TV , make him go outside and play and stop feeding him at McDonald's three times per week. Little Mickey will perhaps savor his treat of a McDonald's cheese burger having bought it with his own money that he has earned raking the lawn . Chances are he may even loose a little weight in the process. If Sarah can't stop tormenting her classmates because they are not as "privileged" as she is ... remove her privileges.... if she earns her own money, then she can do her own shopping at Old Navy if not, then she can deal with whatever you buy for her. Institute an "attitude tax" (my daughter HATES this with a passion) every time she gives attitude to you or someone undeserving of such attitude tax her for it. Unplugging the cable or internet makes for a great tax on a smart mouth. And nothing seems to bring out the seriousness of your statement like making them do all of those chores that are normally rewarded with a weekly allowance for free. And just on a personal note , that jar of quarters and dollar bills (depending on the infraction) adds up fast and makes for a great trip to the bookstore for Mom !! My basic point is that the media can advertise until it is blue in the virtual face , but if parents will enforce some basic rules it will fall largely on deaf ears. In my mind TV and media are not the roots of all evil , but lack of parental involvement comes awfully close . On a positive note a small part of the conference was aimed at helping parents make generous, well grounded and caring adults out of their children. I'll get behind that any day.

It's about time ....

Some would say it's way past time and there is a small minority who are hoping that the past will stay burried in the past. This week Senators Christopher Dodd (Dem. Conn.) and Jim Talent (Rep. Mo.) are introducing a bill that would set up a new unit withing the Justice Dept. to investigate and hopefully solve old civil rights crimes, lynchings and murders that occured before 1970. However I must say that in most cases it is going to be 'too little .. too late' ,memories are getting dim and a good deal of the witnesses and the perpetrators themselves are long since dead. I'm sure that the distant family of Emmett Till will get some sense of satisfaction from the Gov't. finally stating publically that Roy Bryant and J.W. Milam are guilty of murder. Less than a month after being aquitted Bryant and Milam bragged to reporter William Bradford Huie from 'Look Magazine' (Jan.24, 1956) about how they kiddnapped, beat and shot 14 year old Emmitt then tied his body to a cotton gin fan and threw him into the Tallahatchie river . The federal Government didn't see the need to step in back then, after all, he was only a black child and he did do the unspeakable act of which he was accused ..whistling at a white woman in public. This new unit in the justice Dept. will also be tasked with helping states that are doing their own investigating, such as Mississippi, which has just convicted Ray Edgar Killen of manslaughter in the 1964 slayings of three civil rights workers in Philidelphia , Mississipppi. Senator Dodd stated, " The people who perpetrated these crimes should never have a day of peace" . This has to be one of the few times that I will admitt to agreeing with a politician. however, it would be even better if the people who perpetrated these crimes had spent the last fifty years living a miserable existance on a chain gang in Mississippi rather than enjoying the smug satisfaction of knowing that they got away with murder .

Exercises in Futility ...

Anyone out there want a quick lesson in extreme frustration ? I have the perfect solution ... go and try to adopt a child from the Pennsylvania Foster Care System !!! We began this journey about one year ago, we didn't realize what we were getting into. As far as the children them selves go we know what we are in for and are not strangers to children with severe emotional problems. What we were totally unprepared for was the workings of the system itself. It took us almost two months just to get the paperwork done, then there were the mandatory parenting classes (we have two kids already, so this was a bit unnecessary) there were interviews and book lists and training documentation statements. And MORE PAPERWORK. Not to mention the home inspections and interviews with our biological children. In the midst of this we had to move which delayed us somewhat, we had another child in our temporary care which delayed us again as the agency could not proceed until this child was safely settled in her new home, then there were weeks of holidays and a months vacation by our caseworker. There were a few delays getting the needed certified documents from Alabama to prove that we were indeed born and were married. So now that we have everything in place we have been told that our file has been open too long (almost a year) and will have to be denied because of it. We decided that we are going to adopt a sibling group and are moving into a bigger house so that we will have room to put them and have been told that this makes us look unstable. Well, the state says I can't make them sleep in the closet , what else were we supposed to do ? So after we get moved into our larger , holds more siblings home we get to start the process over again !! I wonder if they have ever explained this to the 3000 children in foster care in PA. ??

I'm back

But not together enough to write about anything of value. As soon as my brain congeals I'll come up with something.

Vacation !!!

The Militant family is on vacation enjoying the sun and heat of South Alabama . Wish y'all were enjoying it with us. So much sun ... so little vacation !!!! We're off to the beaches of North Florida this weekend. Jealous yet??

Female Chauvinist

This is probably going to get me more hate mail than anything I have said or written in a long while. I have , after much consideration, come to the conclusion that women should not be ordained as clergy. At least not without some serious checking into their plan of action regarding what they intend to do with their families. Older women …fine as long as they have the support of their significant other (same goes for men) and women with no children … fine , women whose children are older, teenagers perhaps, would be ok as long as the woman in question could prove that her pursuit of ordination is not going to affect her children and family in a negative way. This would be largely irrelevant for women who were ordained before they had children , because they would be in a normal state of affairs for a working woman. ( I don’t agree with that either tho’) Unless you are a single mother and MUST work to support your children, you need to be at home with those children teaching them right from wrong. Why bother having children if you are simply going to farm them off on some daycare provider , who in the end is really the one raising your children. I am beyond disgusted with my church at this point because they applaud and praise these women at every turn for what really boils down to abandoning their children. Do these women really think that their children will be any happier with their mothers choices a few years from now than they are now ? Do they think their kids are going to simply forget that feeling of abandonment ? Chances are they are going to be holding a grudge against the church and possibly God himself for giving their mother a “calling” that she see as more important than her kids. Even the kids pick up on this, we were having one of those family conversations on our way home from church not long ago . We were discussing what each of had decided to give up or what discipline to adopt for the season of Lent . The conversation covered ourselves and those we knew from our church as well as some of our Catholic friends who practice Lenten devotions as well. After deciding that BigDaddy was giving up all forms of sodas , I, instead of giving up something took on the task of keeping a prayer journal, SpazBoy gave up chocolate and GirlyChild like her dad , gave up sodas . We covered the fact that the priest was giving up buying books during Lent (a MUCH bigger challenge than you would think ) as the good father is a major bibliophile, and I had one friend who was determined to overcome her major gossip habit during lent. As we continued down along the list of friends and acquaintances GirlyChild brings up the case of our friend PostulantWoman . GirlyChild sounds off from the depths of the depths of the minivan with “ I know what Mrs.xxxx (PostulantWoman) is giving up for Lent” . We were somewhat confused as PostulantWoman had stoped going to church with her own children in order to do an internship with another group of churches for her ordination process, so none of us had seen her in quite a while and had no idea when GirlyChild may have spoken to her. But never the less we said “ well , what would that be ?” GirlyChild simply answers back “HER FAMILY” . What exactly do you say to a statement like that ? We were at a loss, neither one of us really agree with what PostulantWoman is doing , (BigDaddy is more supportive than I am ) but didn’t want to say anything really negative to GirlyChild about her friends mom. ( I personally lost any respect for her long ago) If our kids are noticing these things from the outside what must her own kids kids be going through. The longer I watch these things affect families the less inclined I am to agree with ordination for women with children who are young enough to be hurt by it. The church will be around when your kids are older , please realize that your children are your FIRST and MOST IMPORTANT “calling” from God !!
Let the hate mail begin !!!

To the people of South Wrenzori ...

We have not forgotten you , nor will we hindered by the actions of a man so absorbed in his own self righteousness that he is willing to sacrifice the well being and in some cases the lives of the people in his Diocese in order to make a political point . For a “man of God “ Bishop Tembo seems to be all to willing to throw out the Baby with the bathwater, “ Asserting that the South Rwenzori Diocese "upholds the Holy Scriptures as the true word of God," and implying that the Pennsylvanian diocese -- by supporting a gay bishop -- does not, Bishop Tembo proclaimed the two dioceses to be in "theological conflict," thus leading him to reject all ties to his brothers and sisters in Christ living in and around Harrisburg.” You do not have to agree with or even tolerate homosexuality to see that what Bishop Tembo has done is terribly wrong, however Bishop Tembo is not such an obstacle that he cannot be circumvented , although he rejected the money, medical personel and supplies being offered by the Diocese of Central PA. in favor of towing the party line his people will not suffer for it for our Diocese has partnered with the Bishop Masereka Foundation, an independent charity that operates in southwest Uganda to assist victims of HIV/AIDS and their families. There is an old expression that when God closes one door , he opens another , I feel that there is no truer case than this. Even though Africa only houses 10 percent of the worlds total population it is home to 90 percent of the worlds HIV/AIDS orphans , it is estimated that by the year 2010 that there will be 40 MILLION AIDS orphans in Africa , most of them being in the sub-Saharan region that Bishop Tembo calls home. Perhaps the good Bishop can be so cavalier because his own five children have never been touched by the Aids epidemic, nor have they ever had to beg for food or watched their parents and extended family die and wonder what will happen to them now. A very sad and alarming side note to this is that many conservative “Christians” in this country have applauded Bishop Tembo and support his decision to reject our money, help and prayers that are being offered to his people. While I agree that holding to one’s religious convictions is a good thing , I personally belive that perhaps they have chosen the wrong conviction to latch on to . When asked point blank which commandment is the greatest one of all Christ replied “ To love the Lord your God with all your heart , mind and soul and to love your brother as your self .” If you love your brother as yourself how do you let him suffer and die in the name of “Theological Conflict” ? ‘Tis a good thing that in the end Bishop Tembo will be answering to God and not me , for I’m fairly sure that God is more forgiving . To the families of South Wrenzori , our prayers have always been with you , and thanks to the Bishop Masereka Foundation , our medical supplies and financial help will be with you too. “ O God, you have taught us to keep all your commandments by loving you and our neighbor: Grant us the grace of your Holy Spirit, that we may be devoted to you with whole heart, and united with one another with pure affection; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen” Book of Common Prayer

Just for the heck of it...

Seventeen Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point A Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with That.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In".
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Sexual Favors"
7. Finish all Your Sentences With "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8 dont use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
11. Sing Along At The Opera.
12. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme
13. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.
14. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
15. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling"Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
16. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.......
17. Forward this message

Subliminal messages

I will admit that I grew up in a land where “yes Sir”, “ yes Ma’am” , “please” and “thank you” were not only appreciated but expected , I will also admit that I don’t expect everyone to be familiar with those particular social graces. While I must concede that rude Southerners do exist (they usually end up as outcasts and have to relocate Chicago.) they are much rarer than a foreigner might actually believe. Before I moved away from the Deep South I considered a man (young or old) who didn’t hold the door for a lady (young or old) to be the epitome of rude. Holy Cow , was I in for a shock !! Since leaving Alabama we have lived literally all over the world and in every place we have called home people seemed to pleasantly surprised with how polite my children are, except for other transplanted Southerners , they expect it . I certainly expect it of my own kids and I used to expect it from other peoples kids , not any more . Having lived in northern PA. for the past 6 years very little surprises me when it comes to the behavior of kids . I have had to change my strategy from threatening to call their parents to report their behavior to dropping subtle hints to the kids themselves because their parents just don’t care. Shortly after we moved here, we had a small army of children playing out in the front yard , I was not surprised when one wandered into the kitchen ,However, I was appalled when he opened his mouth and said “Hey Melissa, I’m thirsty, give me a drink” The concepts of Please, Thank you, May I , or Excuse me had never crossed his mind. I was floored, up until that moment, I had never been addressed in such a way by a 7 year old child , but I quickly realized that it wasn’t really his fault , he was never taught any other way. Fast forward to last night , we were feeding our kids, and a few others who asked of they could eat with us, when in walks a little guy (about 8 years old) they had been playing with . I had no idea what his name was forget about knowing where he lived or what was or wasn’t okay for him to eat, but I digress, he walks into the house, grabs a plate,fills up said plate and sits down at the table and proceeds to eat like he lived here. Thankfully, I have gotten used to such odd behavior from the local kids and wasn’t terribly shocked, we simply introduced ourselves as the parents of the house and gave him a drink to go with his dinner. Little does the poor kid know that he has just entered phase one of the Militant HouseWife subliminal training program !! Give me one month and I’ll have him actually asking for a plate before he sits down to eat at our table and if I work real hard maybe he’ll even say thanks when he’s done eatin’.

Defending our '"Episcopalness'"

We are currently in the planning stages for our trip home(south Alabama) for a two week visit in June and as I was thinking about the logistics of such a trip it occurred to me that because we have lived in Northern Pennsylvania for the last five years there are some things that I will have to prepare our kids for in advance. For instance, because the sun never shines full force in Potter County, PA. they have no clue as to what 102 degrees with 98% humidity feels like, it could be quite a shock if they aren't warned first. Personally, I live for weather like that but the kids have spent most of their formative years living in the Allegheny Mountains and will probably start wilting by the time we get as far south as Maryland. There is also the language barrier, at times my daughter talks so fast she sounds like Smurfette on crack. I find myself translating even for our yankee friends so I can imagine how the conversations at my inlaws are gonna go ... Papa says, " Hey there little Smiley , how was the drive down ?" To which Girly Child replies .."OOOH MYYY GOSH...PapayoushouldhaveseenthiscarwepassedinGeorgiathey
hadeightkidstwodogs,threecatsandafullsetoffishingtackleallshovedintoa
brightpurpleYugowithasetofsteerhornsforahoodornament."
At which point Papa will nod and smile like he knows exactly what she said, Papa later takes BigDaddy out behind the barn to voice his displeasure at what has become of his grandchildren.
Unfortunately I fear the one thing the kids are going to have to be prepared for most is the constant questioning of our faith, not so much our faith but how we choose to express it. As much as I do love my mother-in-law , her constant insistence on turning every topic back to HER religious views does get tiresome. She fears we are sending her grandchildren straight to hell and I'm sure she will not hesitate to tell them so when we are out of hearing range. Don't get me wrong, I have every confidence in my children's ability to defend themselves and their faith as they have done it before. They were recently kicked out of the neighborhood bible study group for refusing to admit that homosexuality is evil and all homosexuals are going straight to hell regardless of what sort of spiritual or ethical person they were. The bible study teacher pointed out that it was after all written the Bible and therefore was true beyond a shadow of a doubt. SpazBoy asks , "how can you believe that?" Teacher states, "because God wrote the Bible and every word in it is to believed and revered with out question" To which SpazBoy replies , "but men wrote the books of the Bible, look it even has their names on it." Teacher states emphatically , "NO MEN DID NOT WRITE THE BIBLE ... God took their hands and made them write His exact thoughts down so we could know them !!" At which point SpazBoy simply remarks , "Well , doesn't that then completely negate the concept of free will ?" (he maybe a complete SPAZ but he has an IQ of 150 and knows when to pull out his "SMART WORDS" as he calls them.) Teacher had no good argument for this one and sent the kids home. She later called me to express her great concern for my children because of the "evil seed" that the Episcopal Church had planted in them. SpazBoy will now occasionally comment that it is time for him to go water or fertilize his "evil seed" . I really have no doubts that our children know where they stand with God , however helping them to withstand a two week constant barrage of comments, questions and accusations coming from their own extended family is going to be quite a challenge.

What do they think they are accomplishing ?

It's getting down to the end of the school year again and once again we find our selves preparing to jump through more governmental hoops involving the kids education. For those of you who may not know, Pennsylvania is one of the most heavily regulated states when it comes to homeschooling. I often find myself wondering what exactly it is that the state is hoping to accomplish by imposing so many restrictions and demands on home teachers. For the record, I don't particularly care to be labeled a "homeschooler or hometeacher" I am simply a parent doing what I feel is is part of my job ... making sure that my children are prepared to be responsible productive members of society. I have heard most of the arguments and "compelling reasons" put forth by the state as to why we should be so regulated ... for our own good of course, they must keep up with the progress of our children so that if they fall behind the kids can be tossed back into the public school and "fixed" to the states liking. These are the same people who promote children who fail to achieve any thing even close to a minimum GPA so as not to damage their self esteem. This is the same state that regularly graduates seniors who are lucky if they can read at a fifth grade level. Schools in Pennsylvania are congratulated every year and are considered to have made 'Adequate Yearly Progress' if 35 percent of its students are considered proficient in math and 45 percent in reading. So if your school has 400 students the state considers it successful if 140 of those students can read and and do basic math adequately. And the state worries about my kids !!!!

Have Christians Lost Christ ?

If you asked 100 different people what being Christian means , I’m guessing the answer would not be flattering and if you posed this question to the same number of non Christians the answer would be even less so. Wasn’t the “great Commission” to send us out into the world to spread the news of Christ? What was this news? If you asked the non Christians , they would probably say that the news of Christ was about fanatical adherence to dogma, the exclusion of vile sinners , and an overwhelming conviction that everyone else is misled or just plain wrong. Is this truly the message that Christ wanted sent out into the world in his name ? I don’t think Christ ever intended for his life to used as an eternal measurement of perfection for us to strive to achieve. He wasn’t about following the letter of the law , but the spirit of the law. He made disciples of women and tax collectors. He had a love for ALL of mankind and preached that ALL were worthy of the love of God. He didn’t say “blessed are they who win the most souls in my name” he said “blessed are the peace makers” He said “Love your neighbor as yourself” not “condemn your neighbor for his perceived sins.” Most Christians strive to live a Christ-like life , however , Christ’s life was more about compassion than perfection.

Home is where the heart is ...

All Shook Up by Culture Shock ..... (Lewis Grizzard)
"There is a group of Atlantans, formerly new Yorkers, who have formed their own support group called "The New York Network." They get together to whine about all the things they miss about their hometown.
There was a story about the group in the Atlanta papers last week. It said these people missed such things as egg creams.
Quite frankly, I have no idea what an egg cream is, but as an Atlantan who was once held prisoner of war in Chicago, I know what it is like to be ravaged by homesickness.
I lived in Chicago for nearly three years. It was very cold there and the people talked funny.
One day, I met a guy in a bar who also was from the South. I knew that right away when I heard him ask a young lady seated next to him, "Do you think wrestlin’s fake?"
Southerners are known for their ability to engage in clever repartee in such social situations as trying to pick up a date in a bar.
After the young lady moved several seats away fro the man, I began talking with him. It turned out he was from Birmingham, Alabama, and he, too, was homesick.
He told me about a support group to which he belonged, "Grits Anonymous," for misplaced Southerners.
He invited me to attend the group’s next meeting. It was wonderful. We filled up the host’s Jacuzzi with grits and wallowed around in them until we all felt we could handle Chicago and our homesickness until at least the next meeting.
After some research I found there are other groups of Atlantans who are transplanted Northerners and meet occasionally to deal with problems they have encountered since moving south. There is, for instance, the "Federation of Former New Jersey Americans," who miss such things as seeing bodies floating in rivers. They meet at Barney’s Waterslide every other Wednesday.
"It’s not what we’re used to, of course," said the group’s founder, Nick Valentino, from Newark, "but it does help some of our members to cope."
There’s "We’re from Cleveland," people who never get to see rivers burn any more. What they do is rent a raft and float down Atlanta’s scenic Chattahoochee River. At lunch time they pour gasoline on the water and roast wienies.
I even discovered a group of transplanted Chicagoans, "The Fruit Loops." Every time the temperature falls below 60 degrees they take off their clothes and run around outside in hopes of enjoying the invigorating feeling of frostbite once more.
What’s obviously happening in our country is more and more people are leaving their roots to find their fortunes, and this obviously can lead to various forms of culture shock.
I eventually left Chicago for home because I could no longer handle a foreign way of life, and I am certain the people from New York and New Jersey and Cleveland and Chicago will be leaving the South and returning home soon, too.
Bye, y’all. "
Not only do I miss Alabama and all things "suthen" I miss Lewis Grizzard. I am eternally greatful that along with his column in the Atlanta Journal and Constitution Mr. Grizzard wrote at least 18 best selling books to keep me company here in the wilds of Pennsylvania. Lewis and his unabashedly southern outlook and complete disdain for the "speech police" were my constant companions during my husbands military career, after all is there anything more amusing than a literate southern boy with a typewriter ? And much like Lewis "If I Ever Get Back To Georgia, I'm Gonna Nail My Feet To The Ground" . God bless you Lewis , you are still keeping me company, you truly were the greatest SAWB to ever peck at a typewriter !!

Me , in purgatory ?

Perhaps I should work on the wrathful thing .....
The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	High
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Moderate
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Moderate
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Moderate

Take the Dante's" Inferno Hell Test

My heretical thought for the day ...

As if I could reduce myself to having only one heretical thought per day! This is not the first time I have had this particular thought or one very similar to it , however, this is the first time that I have tried sit and add flesh to it, trying to get it past the "wow, that was a bizarre thought" stage and perhaps get feedback for it. This time it has gotten under my skin and won't go away so here it goes ....
I was sitting in the van waiting for my funny little honey and the kids to finish their Mother's Day shopping, as you can guess, it was taking a while so I picked up my new copy of 'Forward Day by Day' . This is nothing new, I read it quite frequently, though I have never stopped to read the inside cover , until then . On the inside front cover is small passage called 'morning resolve' which is a suggested prayer to help you get your day off on the right foot. After listing those habits that I will work at being faithful to; prayer, work , study, charity which is good , those are things that I work on myself... It is the last paragraph that really got me though "As I cannot in in my own strength do this nor even with a hope of success attempt it I look to thee O Lord God my Father..." I really and truly had one of those Monty Python moments when I expected the clouds to part and God to poke his head through and in a exasperated voice exclaim ... "Oh , stop groveling ... I hate it when people grovel .... every time I try to talk to someone it's always I'm not worthy Lord , or please forgive me Lord ... just stop sniveling and listen to me !" It does seem to me that people spend an inordinate amount of time begging God for help with things that we are perfectly capable of doing on our own . Did God not give us free will and massive brain power for a reason . (this is why I didn't make a good Baptist) I feel secure enough in my abilities that I don't see the need to flood God with the trivialities of my daily life . If you were God would you want the company of people who did nothing but whine at you every time they opened their mouths ? Yes I believe in prayer , but it consists mainly of " I hope that I did more to show Your love to the world today than I did yesterday... And if I didn't please accept my apologies and I will try again tomorrow. " So down to my heretical thought .... I really think God would rather have us work through our daily lives on our own with the reason and might that He gave us , rather than relying on Him to do everything for us . Just think , this is one of the less heretical of my heretical thoughts .

My daughters best friend ...

I recently overheard the following statement uttered by one on of the local "soccer moms" ... "Oh , (nine year old daughter) and I are best friends " . Which wouldn't have been so alarming nor would it have prompted this blog entry if the nine year old daughter in question wasn't one of the most obnoxious little girls in recent history. I couldn't help but think, "If you are her best friend , then who is being her parent"? Obviously .... no one. There has to be a line drawn somewhere between the two, my own daughter has enough friends without me trying to be on top of the list . For the most part my daughter considers me to be passably "cool" (for an old person) after all I have taken her to get multiple ear piercings (6 to date) dyed her hair red for her, and don't have a problem buying her CD's and T-shirts of her favorite punk band. However she also knows that our family is NOT a democracy. Mom giveth the T-shirts and CD's and if need be .... mom taketh them away, and she getteth not a vote in the matter. While our son really enjoys playing computer games with Dad , he also knows that Dad will disable said computer if reason calls for it. The same goes for their friends ... to most kids in the neighborhood I am simply "mom" they come in after school and raid my kitchen like they live here. We are invited to all of their plays and birthday parties , they go shopping and to movies with us and overall consider us to be pretty cool (for old people) . BUT, they also know that there are things that they get away with at home that they cannot do at my house . They are offered the choice of respecting our rules or going home and for the most part they choose to respect the rules . To some of them it was a bit of a shock at first but they got used to it and now are ok with the fact that there are certain things they just can't say when out with "mom" .
Yes I am their friend , but more importantly I am their parent, and will not hesitate to act as such even if it makes them mad at me and even if they are not my biological child. Yes, I have been accused of being too strict, and even had a parent pull her child out of my Brownie troop because I was "bullying" her child. I did not ask anything of her little girl that I did not ask of the others and most of them cooperated willingly. Perhaps it is a cultural difference , as I have noticed this sort of attitude more since moving up north. I ran into the same sort of thing as a camp counselor , children who seemed honestly shocked that I would have the audacity to even ask them to behave, forget about requiring it as a way to earn participation. They were mortified when after hurling some pretty vile insults at one another for the better part of the last day of camp , I refused to let them participate in the camp wide talent show as a group during the part of the evening where every cabin performs a skit based on the events of the week. If these girls had performed a skit based on their week it would have consisted of pouting, whining and insulting one another's intelligence. I was reminded that camp is supposed to be a fun week for them , that is very true however I will not let their fun come at the expense of their fellow campers. As a person I am not above rolling around in the grass like a big idiot for the amusement of my children , but as a parent I will not hesitate to put an end to the fun and games if the situation and their behavior requires it. Until recently , I didn't think this was such and odd stance to take . Go figure.

Not every one from Alabama is an idiot, but this guy is !

As if people from Alabama didn't have enough of a stereotype to overcome (didn't you know, we are all inbred racists) republican Alabama lawmaker, Gerald Allen, just dropped our collective IQ's by a good 50 points!! Allen has introduced a (prospective) law that would forbid Alabama public school libraries to purchase copies of books written by gay authors or featuring gay characters. "I don't look at it as censorship," says Allen. "I look at it as protecting the hearts and souls and minds of our children." How , by making them as narrow minded as he is? In his original version of the bill he even included the works of Shakespeare as part of the "homosexual agenda". Why don't we all just have ourselves a good ole fashioned BOOK BURNING ??? Hey, maybe we can burn a few crosses while we are at it ... because if books by gays are so evil , then what about books by black authors , featuring black characters , or how about women authors who have opinions that differ from his? There is a real threat here people, little kids everywhere are gonna be brain washed into thinking that they live in a country where freedom of thought and expression are fundamental parts of life . Honestly , how would you get through high school without Tennessee Williams , James Joyce and Oscar Wilde . I suppose in his ideal school students couldn't even read the Bible , it is after all chock full of violence and fornication. "It's not healthy for America, it doesn't fit what we stand for," I've got news for you Mr. Allen the great majority of people in the state of Alabama do not want a narrow minded bigot to decide what they stand for. I hope who ever elected this guy was sentenced to a life of mining snow in northern Michigan !

My top 10 reasons to love being Episcopal ...

10. Anglican Aerobics are good for you .... sit-stand-kneel, sit-stand-kneel, sit-stand-kneel .
9. We get to drink real wine at church .... even on Sunday.
8. Not only can Episcopal women wear pants ... they can be Deacons, Priests and Bishops.
7. We "proselytize" by serving our fellow man,not by assaulting him on the street corner and telling him that he is bound for hell.
6. You don't need a life guard on duty to be baptized ... a small measuring cup will do .
5. Our Bishops are real people ... they will sit on the ground and play "duck-duck-goose" with the kids at camp. (Diocese of Central PA)
4. We ""respect the dignity of ALL human beings" be they black, white, gay, or straight.
3. Our National Cathedral has a very cool Darth Vader gargoyle .
2. There has never been an "Episcopal Inquisition" .... God gave you a brain - we encourage you to use it .
1. Scripture ... Tradition ... and .... REASON !!!! Need I say more ??

One paddle short of a regatta ???

This little tidbit comes from the undeniably warped mind of fundamentlist parenting "expert" Mr. James Dobson in his book "The Strong Willed Child" . . .
"At eleven o'clock that night, I told Siggie (the family dachsund) to go get into his bed, which is a permanent enclosure in the family room. For six years I had given him that order at the end of each day, and for six years Siggie had obeyed.
On this occasion, however, he refused to budge. You see, he was in the bathroom, seated comfortably on the furry lid of the toilet seat. That is his favorite spot in the house, because it allows him to bask in the warmth of a nearby electric heater. When I told Sigmund to leave his warm seat and go to bed, he flattened his ears and slowly turned his head toward me. He deliberately braced himself by placing one paw on the edge of the furry lid, then hunched his shoulders, raised his lips to reveal the molars on both sides, and uttered his most threatening growl. That was Siggie's way of saying. "Get lost!"
"I had seen this defiant mood before, and knew there was only one way to deal with it. The ONLY way to make Siggie obey is to threaten him with destruction. Nothing else works. I turned and went to my closet and got a small belt to help me 'reason' with Mr. Freud. What developed next is impossible to describe. That tiny dog and I had the most vicious fight ever staged between man and beast. I fought him up one wall and down the other, with both of us scratching and clawing and growling and swinging the belt. I am embarrassed by the memory of the entire scene. Inch by inch I moved him toward the family room and his bed. As a final desperate maneuver, Siggie backed into the corner for one last snarling stand. I eventually got him to bed, only because I outweighed him 200 to 12!"
What kind of neurotic control freak does this to the family pet ?? Wouldn't it have been much simpler and much more humane to pick up the dog and and place him in the kennel ?? So by his standards if a toddler gets comfy on the sofa in the evening and doesn't want to go to bed I should go and get my belt and beat him down the hall with it untill he crawles into the crib himself to get away from me and my belt . It would in my mind be much simpler and more humane to pick up the child and place him in the crib . I can only imagine the emtional state of this man's children. Did he 'reason' with them like he did Siggy every time they didn't want to eat their peas ? But wait... there's more ... not only does Mr. Dobson feel that the family pet should be beaten into submission , it seems he advocates the breaking and subduing of your infant's will ...
"[I]t is possible to create a fussy, demanding baby by rushing to pick him up every time he utters a whimper or sigh. Infants are fully capable of learning to manipulate their parents through a process called reinforcement, whereby any behavior that produces a pleasant result will tend to recur. Thus, a healthy baby can keep his mother hopping around his nursery twelve hours a day (or night) by simply forcing air past his sandpaper larynx."
Babies cry , that is their only form of communication , I suppose he taught his children from birth to come right out and ask for what ever it was that they needed , and not to bother him for anything so trivial as human company or comfort . My children were carried almost constantly from birth and they have yet to murder any one OR beat the family dog with a belt !!!!!
I do believe some one in this story of Mr. Dobson's should be living in a kennel and it isn't Siggy the dog !!!!

My english is tainted !!!

Your Linguistic Profile:

60% General American English

40% Dixie

0% Midwestern

0% Upper Midwestern

0% Yankee

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Please proselytize Me !!

Lately I've spent a good deal of time trying to find the "please proselytize me " sign on my back , or perhaps it is on my front as they seem to get me coming and going . I have come to expect it when going into the local Christian Book store , they are very conservative and seem to equate being Episcopal to being demonic . I shudder to think what they would brand me if they actually bothered to ask me what I believe or feel spiritually instead of just lumping me in the pile as an "evil seed" . As I said I expect such treatment from the Christians at the bookstore , however now it seems that "they " are everywhere . When I come out of the grocery store there are nice little pamphlets stuck under the wiper blade on my van , I have found them stuck in my library books , not long ago I ordered some math books for the kids and each one had a pamphlet tucked into it . At least they are not those horrid hate filled tracts that I saw as a child in Alabama , but they are none the less a pain in my posterior . And lets not forget the couples who come to my door asking how I feel about God's plan for this earth !!! ( I'm not real clear on God's plan , however I do have my own plan if you don't get of my porch pretty darn quick !!! ) If I don't answer the door they leave me some light reading material about how God is going to destroy this earth so I had better repent . YUCK !!!! As a person who is not a believer in a literal Hell , I find this quite amusing . (except that they always seem to knock when I am trying to make dinner or something) If they were truly concerned for my eternal soul then they would stop knocking on my door and leaving me pamphlets so that when I do face my Divine Creator I won't have to try to explain why I clobbered those people who were trying to save my soul !!!

I got "SAVED" !!!

Scared you there for a minute , didn't I . Not exactly something you hear everyday in the Episcopal tradition . That phrase is a throw back from my childhood spent in the most fundamentalist of enclaves ... South Alabama . What I really got was the movie "SAVED" . Our daughter came to us one day and said that we had to see this movie called "SAVED" she had caught part of it at a friends house during a sleep - over and insisted that we see it . All she said was that it was "a really cool movie" and for those of you who have never had the privilage of meeting the very enthusiastic soul who claims to be our child , she is in a word .... PERSISTANT !! So Big-Daddy-O ordered it from Blockbuster online , who delivered it right to our mailbox , you gotta love that !! I must say that I was more than just a little hesitant about this film , based mainly on the title and what little bits of vague info we could pull from the above mentioned girly-child (she is after all a twelve year old) . Having grown up in the King-James-Only, Full-Imersion-required , No-drinking, card playing, or dancing, "Chick Tract" distrubting portion of the Bible Belt , the whole concept of "being Saved" still makes me a bit queasy . (for those of you who haven't had the pleasure check them out ...http://www.chick.com/catalog/tractlist.asp ... I'm sure you'll be as thrilled with them as I was) The "GOD" of the Fundamentalist "Salvation" was never anything I wanted to have any aquantience with . He is not a God of love , but a God of fear ! I'd be willing to bet more than half of the "soul winning" (what an arrogant concept) that has happend has been out of sheer terror at the thought of burning in hell for all eternity rather than any genuine love for God . But ... I digress ... IMAGINE THAT !!! This movie is a must see , I haven't laughed so hard in quite a while . I swear that the writers of this script went to the same high school I did . It probably wouldn't have been quite so funny had I not have "known" so many of the characters personally, all I would have to do was fill in the blanks with familliar names . It truly is a dead-on portrayal of the fundamentalist mind set . Beware tho' there are few baudy scenes and more than a few "dirty words" so you might want to view it first to judge wheather it is appropriate for your kids . Mid- older teen is my suggestion . The underlying message of the film is that God's love overcomes all things and has no bounderies of "saved or un-saved" . If you are not easily offended by religious humor , check it out , it's a riot !!

What do I want to be when I grow up ?

More to the point, what do I want to be when my kids grow up ? I've had lots of time to think about it , there have been times when it was an all consuming obsession . That's usually after a day spent teaching history , pre-algebra and all of the other things that come along with being a homeschool mom . I figgure I have about six more years to come up with a good plan . Or even a workable plan , which is harder than it seems being that we live in the middle of NOWHERE !!
Very few places to spend some interesting volunteer hours , no community college . I could just sit around and watch the grass grow , but that doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun . Perhaps I should just have a few more children , then I won't have to worry about it for another eighteen years !!

"Episcopal Women"

Not too long ago I went to an ECW (Episcopal Church Women) conference held not too far from my home . I had been looking forward to this gathering for some time based on the glowing reviews of the video presentation that we would see . WELLLLL , guess what .... I was slightly less than impressed . The company was good , the food was great ... the video STANK !! Though I can't remember the exact title of the video , the lead in was something about the importance of the roles of women in the Episcopal church and how we should feel proud of our accomplishments and the contributions that we make on a daily basis for the betterment of society and the church in our own communities as well as the Church universal . It was misleading to say the least . Every one of the eight or so women profiled in the program were ordained to the priesthood and started(or been instrumental in starting) some large ministry of some sort . Yea ... Good for them ... ! At what point did the feminist movement take over the Episcopal church ? Not only was the video irrelevant to the groups assembled ( Iwas one of the few under age 65 ) it was just WRONG !!! In so many ways it was wrong !!! Great and wonderful that these women gave up at least ten years of families life to go through the ordination process , which is something only a small few of the group would have ever considered, their accomplishments were nothing compared to those of the somewhat more humble crowed assembled to watch the video . What makes that priests "clothing closet" program any more important than the "soup canning" program done by that small group of women from that very small congregation seated in the second pew ? Or the "cleaning ladies" sitting on the back row who make sure their particular church and grounds are maintained to the best of their abilities ? What about the thousands of Episcopal women who volunteer to be Sunday school teachers year after year after year ? Yes the"clothing closet" program was a program worthy of the time and effort that this priest put into getting it up and running , HOWEVER , she is a priest , that is part of her job , it's the sort of thing she gets paid for . ( Paid a salary at least twice as much as that of the ladies in the "soup canning" group I might ad . ) The real accomplishments to be lauded here are not those made by the paid church staff but those made by the thousands of women who every day volunteer their time , effort and more often than not money to the thousands of programs carried out by the average church down the road from you and me . How about a video celebrating those ladies , the REAL Episcopal Church Women . Like the lady with four children who designs and maintains the lovely garden in front of your church ? The group of retirees who spend a weekend polishing the church brasses before the Easter service ? Those who see to the funeral luncheons , sympathy and hospitality committees ? What is wrong with celebrating the contributions of the invisible multitude that truly make the Episcopal church function ?? I would like to see it happen . Though sadly, I doubt that it ever will .

The "HOLYLAND" ?

How do you honestly think God feels about groups of people that fight so brutally over a small strip of land that human life comes to mean nothing ? Am I the only person who feels this whole concept is warped beyond belief ? What sort of god is being worshiped in a case like this ? I'd like to think that it isn't the same one I worship , for he values the dignity of ALL human beings . I doubt He would condone the slaughter of thousands of lives over so many years because a few groups of people claimed "God gave it to us " . When God bestows upon us a gift are we not to treat it with respect and be grateful to him ? Is it a reflection of God to kill thousands and deny thousands more of their homes in His name ??

Why Martha ??

Well she is now out of prison and presumably strolling about her massive estate in NY. (I would be...) Am I the only one who thinks that sending a woman (or any person) to prison for not admitting duplicity in a small scale investment deal is ridiculous? Has any one from Enron , Healthsouth or Adelphia been sent to prison yet? So why Martha? Is it that she was someone they felt safe making an example out of? Perhaps because she is a woman? I've seen people who sell crack to little children get off with leaner sentences than Ms. Stewart. Granted, I am a bit envious of her "Domestic Diva" status and some (most) of her ideas seem a bit far out and expensive for your average housewife, I in no way think she was deserving of prison. I get the feeling that so many women (read : feminists) dislike Martha simply because her empire has revolved laround all things domestic, perhaps they believe she has sold herself and women in general short by not being an attorney or politician or something more "worthy" of her obvious talents. Perhaps they dislike her even more because she has been so successful at it. Isn't that what feminism was about in the beginning? Having the choices and chances to do what you felt you were good at? Well Ms. Stewart , you are my kind of feminist. More power to you!! I have never met a poor man (or woman) who could afford to give any one else a job.

Forgiveness

Loving your neighbor is easy enough , forgiving them is another thing altogether ! What is it about forgiveness that makes it so difficult for me ? It seems that the closer the person is to me the harder it is for me to let the little injustices slide by . And I really tend to hang on to those that are not so little . Perhaps it is because these are the people that I trust the most . Because I have deemed them worthy of my confidence , I expect them to be that way for ever . I have learned over the years that simply because some one holds a position of trust and that I assume they should be trustworthy does not make it so . I have never been real big on the whole " turn the other cheek " concept , I tend to lean towards " if you slap one cheek , I'm very reluctant to give you the other one " and if by chance you should slap that one too , you might as well hang it up 'cause I doubt you'll get more than basic courtesy from me ever again . How many times should I forgive people the same offenses , before I just give up on them ? Perhaps I should pull out my trusty "post card bible" and think on it for a while . Do you have to trust your neighbor in order to love him (or her) ? Food for thought .

True Love

There are basically three kinds of love ...
Agape ... The all encompassing love of God . That one is easy we , it just happens , He loves us.
We probably don't deserve it all of the time , but it is there none the less . Nothing we can do about that one one way or the other , it is not ours to give or deny to others , it does not belong to us because it is God's love for us .
Eros ... Romantic love ... We hear a lot about that one this time of year . Yes , it is a wonderful thing to have [ LOVE YOU MUFFIN :o) ] and there are few things in life that are more comforting than to know even after 5475 days worth of kids , bills , jobs and the mundane things that life is really made of , he will still laugh at my bad jokes . But it is not what truly holds the world together .
Philio ... The love of a brother ... friend to friend , stranger to stranger , this is what the world is really about . This is what God really expects of us . The bible is full of strong suggestions , laws and commandments and for as long as there have been people reading and trying to interpret it , there have been people fighting about it . Fighting about how to live correctly , which laws mean more than others , who's right and who's wrong , who is more pious 'cause they can name most of the laws and commandments that they keep daily that you or I don't . What most people seem to forget or choose to forget is that the entire Bible can be summed up in one small pharse . We could reprint the entire thing on a post card and stick it in our pockets to go everywhere with us . This is my new and improved BASIC BIBLE .... it only consists of one verse .... Jesus answered , " You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all of your mind , and with all of your strength ... and you shall love your neighbor as you love yourself. There are no greater commandments than this. " Pretty simple huh . Put it on a post card , put it in your pocket , read it , study it , most importantly ... LIVE IT !!

Called for what ?

Ok , here comes one of those very unpopular , politically incorrect opinions of mine . I know several people who are currently answering what they perceive as a "call" from God . You know the one ... We have all had it at one point or another to some degree or another . Well it isn't any calling that I have issue with , but how they choose to answer it . I'm not sure if it is the church that I am more upset with or the individuals themselves . For those of you who may have no idea what it takes to answer a call to ordination in the Episcopal church check out the cannons of your diocese . It requires that a family give up major amounts of time and money . There are denominations out there that do all that they can to help those who feel that they are being led to ordained leadership , ours however seems to take the position that if the church throws everything at them that there is to throw and suck up every bit of spare time and every spare penny that a family may have and the family survives , then they may be worthy of ordination . Yes we as Episcopalian do ordain women , but in return we demand that they basically give up their families to do so . This is where I get really disappointed in people . (men and women) when I have to watch their children take a back seat to jumping through canonical hoops . It's not right ... I don't think God ever intended for people to put the church ahead of the emotional and financial welfare of their families . To those of you who might be going through the "process" now or for those of you who may be considering it , PLEASE think of your children ... They will only be children once !!! When they are grown up , you can't get them back . The church will be still be around when they are grown . ( and you will probably have more spare change)

Blessed are the MEEK ?

Standing on a hill , preaching to an ever-growing group followers Jesus uttered one phrase that would plague "good Christians" until the end of time itself. On the surface it wouldn't seem to be such a profound thought, just four simple words ... blessed are the meek. How could such a simple statement be so misunderstood? For centuries "good Christians" have labored under the misconception that to be meek means to be a doormat for the "world". Hardly; you must remember that this was said by the same Christ who had the audacity to have dinner with a tax collector in the name of God. Yes Jesus said "turn the other cheek", no, Jesus did not say "be overly submissive and compliant" This is after all the same Christ who ran through the temple overturning tables. Be meek , not subserviant. What exactly is it to be meek? At its best the word meek means patience, humility and a certain even-ness of temper and attitude. At its worst the word meek seems to convey thoughts of cowed submissiveness and fear . The Church and her congregations are preyed upon because they are full of the "meek". For those of us who have been given charge over God's own children, being meek can NOT mean being compliant. We can NOT afford to go blindly about our business accepting all help that is offered to us in what would seem to be a spirit of faithfulness and love. We must be dilligent, we must be watchful, we must be kind, but we must not be fools . Be meek, not mindless . Walking in the spirit of love does not mean we are to become easy targets for those who would do harm to family of God. Be meek , not naive. For in the same book where Christ said "blessed are the meek", he also gives warning for us to "be wise as serpants but as innocent as doves". (MT 10:16)

Often when I meet someone among the first questions they ask are "What do you do" ? or "where do you work " ? Normally I simply answer .. I am a Mother. I do on occasion get the reply of " oh... so am I , but what do you do for a living " ? At times I find myself searching for a response that really states what it is that I do without sounding too schmaltzy, or worse .... self righteous . ( I have been blessed with what my much beloved husband has dubbed "a dominant personality" , so this is harder than one might otherwise assume . ) Although through out an average day I may cook , clean , bake and chauffeur, I may play nurse , counselor , referee , teacher and secretary, none of these things truly define what I do for a living . After going down a long, annoying list of possibles , I eliminated the following titles ...
Stay-At-Home-Mom ... A little to "fluffy" and politically correct for my taste, chances are, it would be a cold day in Atlanta before the more "liberated" females of the world would stand for being called Stay- At- Work -Moms , even though they probably spend more time staying at work than I do staying at home . (there goes that dominant personality thing again)
House-mom .... umm , well , I'm Mom where ever I go , not just at home , so that doesn't really fit .
Unemployed ... not really , that generally implies that I had a job and lost it somehow . I am not un-employed so much as I am not-employed .
Having eliminated the above monikers and not finding any suitable alternatives, I invented one of my one . I am a Militant Housewife !! Why militant you ask ? Because dedicated didn't have the positive implication that I was looking for . I am dedicated to doing the laundry , not because I particularly enjoy it , but because we need clean clothes in order to avoid charges of indecent exposure . So dedicated housewife didn't quite get it . Adamant housewife almost made the cut , however, it seemed to lack enough power to convey how strongly I feel about what it is that I do . I am adamantly opposed to cats living in the house , however , not one , but two demonic feline furballs call my sofa home . So adamant wasn't really enough . The only adjective that seemed to really fit was militant . Being a mom and wife is so much more than what I do , it is who I am . There is nothing more important to me than my family . I cannot think that any amount of extra money or the prestige of an official title could possibly be more "fulfilling" than seeing that my husband and children are well cared for.. . BY ME ... BECAUSE NO BABY SITTER , DAYCARE , AFTER SCHOOL PROGRAM , MAID OR COOK CAN TAKE CARE OF MY FAMILY AS GOOD AS I CAN . I will never , under any circumstance , retreat in the face of any popular opinion that says other wise . There for , I am now , and will always be ... THE MILITANT HOUSEWIFE .