Please proselytize Me !!

Lately I've spent a good deal of time trying to find the "please proselytize me " sign on my back , or perhaps it is on my front as they seem to get me coming and going . I have come to expect it when going into the local Christian Book store , they are very conservative and seem to equate being Episcopal to being demonic . I shudder to think what they would brand me if they actually bothered to ask me what I believe or feel spiritually instead of just lumping me in the pile as an "evil seed" . As I said I expect such treatment from the Christians at the bookstore , however now it seems that "they " are everywhere . When I come out of the grocery store there are nice little pamphlets stuck under the wiper blade on my van , I have found them stuck in my library books , not long ago I ordered some math books for the kids and each one had a pamphlet tucked into it . At least they are not those horrid hate filled tracts that I saw as a child in Alabama , but they are none the less a pain in my posterior . And lets not forget the couples who come to my door asking how I feel about God's plan for this earth !!! ( I'm not real clear on God's plan , however I do have my own plan if you don't get of my porch pretty darn quick !!! ) If I don't answer the door they leave me some light reading material about how God is going to destroy this earth so I had better repent . YUCK !!!! As a person who is not a believer in a literal Hell , I find this quite amusing . (except that they always seem to knock when I am trying to make dinner or something) If they were truly concerned for my eternal soul then they would stop knocking on my door and leaving me pamphlets so that when I do face my Divine Creator I won't have to try to explain why I clobbered those people who were trying to save my soul !!!