My daughters best friend ...

I recently overheard the following statement uttered by one on of the local "soccer moms" ... "Oh , (nine year old daughter) and I are best friends " . Which wouldn't have been so alarming nor would it have prompted this blog entry if the nine year old daughter in question wasn't one of the most obnoxious little girls in recent history. I couldn't help but think, "If you are her best friend , then who is being her parent"? Obviously .... no one. There has to be a line drawn somewhere between the two, my own daughter has enough friends without me trying to be on top of the list . For the most part my daughter considers me to be passably "cool" (for an old person) after all I have taken her to get multiple ear piercings (6 to date) dyed her hair red for her, and don't have a problem buying her CD's and T-shirts of her favorite punk band. However she also knows that our family is NOT a democracy. Mom giveth the T-shirts and CD's and if need be .... mom taketh them away, and she getteth not a vote in the matter. While our son really enjoys playing computer games with Dad , he also knows that Dad will disable said computer if reason calls for it. The same goes for their friends ... to most kids in the neighborhood I am simply "mom" they come in after school and raid my kitchen like they live here. We are invited to all of their plays and birthday parties , they go shopping and to movies with us and overall consider us to be pretty cool (for old people) . BUT, they also know that there are things that they get away with at home that they cannot do at my house . They are offered the choice of respecting our rules or going home and for the most part they choose to respect the rules . To some of them it was a bit of a shock at first but they got used to it and now are ok with the fact that there are certain things they just can't say when out with "mom" .
Yes I am their friend , but more importantly I am their parent, and will not hesitate to act as such even if it makes them mad at me and even if they are not my biological child. Yes, I have been accused of being too strict, and even had a parent pull her child out of my Brownie troop because I was "bullying" her child. I did not ask anything of her little girl that I did not ask of the others and most of them cooperated willingly. Perhaps it is a cultural difference , as I have noticed this sort of attitude more since moving up north. I ran into the same sort of thing as a camp counselor , children who seemed honestly shocked that I would have the audacity to even ask them to behave, forget about requiring it as a way to earn participation. They were mortified when after hurling some pretty vile insults at one another for the better part of the last day of camp , I refused to let them participate in the camp wide talent show as a group during the part of the evening where every cabin performs a skit based on the events of the week. If these girls had performed a skit based on their week it would have consisted of pouting, whining and insulting one another's intelligence. I was reminded that camp is supposed to be a fun week for them , that is very true however I will not let their fun come at the expense of their fellow campers. As a person I am not above rolling around in the grass like a big idiot for the amusement of my children , but as a parent I will not hesitate to put an end to the fun and games if the situation and their behavior requires it. Until recently , I didn't think this was such and odd stance to take . Go figure.