Feminism and the disposable family ...

If , as popular feminist ideology would have one believe, a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle... where does that leave our children ? Out in the cold !! In their attempt to relieve themselves of any responsability, the feminist movement has has thrown our children to the dogs. Gloria Steinam may not need a man, but your average child does ... in study after study after study it is found that children who grow up with out fathers are much more prone to deviant and dangerous behaviours. Even the more liberal among us seem to agree "The Progressive Policy Institute, the research arm of the Democratic Leadership Council, reports that the “relationship between crime and one-parent families” is “so strong that controlling for family configuration erases the relationship between race and crime and between low-income and crime. This conclusion shows up time and again in the literature.” " Depending on which study you are reading, girls who grow up with out their fathers are anywhere 68-100 times more likely to have children as teenagers. And this my friends only purpetuates the cycle. Children need parents ... BOTH parents ... the statistics for single mothers and poverty are apalling. Children need strong, loving fathers as well as mothers. Our girls need a dad to look at when they are trying to form ideals as to who they want as a spouse. Our boys need a dad to look to as a role model. Our mothers need a husband who deals largely with the outside world so that she can make responsible and caring citizens out of their children. A daycare facility is a poor substitute for a loving father. Perhaps it is time to by bicycles for the fish ???

Something as small as a card ...

After a very traumatic divorce from my Episcopal congregation and a brief time to recollect my sanity, I visited the local United Methodist Church. All in all, it was a pleasant experience, nothing profound or earth shattering happened, but it was a very comfortable experience. It was what happened afterward that really left its mark... THE PASTOR SENT ME A CARD. Nothing fancy or grand, just a short handwritten note on a simple little folded card. He thanked me for taking the time from my Sunday to worship with them and he hoped that the service provided me with spiritual encouragement for the week ahead. He said that I was welcome anytime and he hoped I would consider visiting with them again, but in the mean time if there was anything that he or the church could do for me please give him a call. Chances are it had more to do with me as a visitor than me as an individual and he probably does it for all of the people who visit his congregation, however, at that moment in time, that little card had a VERY large impact. That was in late October, I would like to say that I simply jumped right in and became a regular congregant, I didn't... as a matter of fact , I didn't return until last Sunday. But, that little card set in motion a great deal of prayer, soul searching on my part. I remembered the reason I chose to go to the Episcopal Church in the first place, and gave a lot of thought to why we kept going, and in the end , why everything fell apart. I gave a great deal of thought to the prevailing attitudes that were presented to me by the Episcopal church and its clergy and realized just how much I disagreed with them. I tried for a very long time to fit in as an Episcopalian , however it became very clear that if you are a woman and do not have an M.Div. or higher degree in something then your opinion counts for nothing . I was confirmed a Methodist as a teenager, and will now gladly return home . Thank you pastor for the card.

A long strange journey ...

Momus is now the mother of three spastic creations !!!! Along with SpazBoy and Girly Child we now have Miss Thang ... what she lacks in size she makes up for in personality :) It has been a very interesting few months and oddly enough the gaining an instant 14 year old was not the most stressful part !!! (That part just sort of came naturally) Momus is now of a mind to sort it out in writing ... However... she has to go make breakfast ... But fear NOT ... she will return shortly !!!!

Brain Scramble ...

Momus is suffering from a serious lack of focus, or closer to the truth , Momus is suffering from too many things to focus on at once. I think perhaps I need a spiritual advisor and a vacation. Any Episcopal churches or retreat centers out there that could make use of a Chief Domestic Officer for a few days ? A week or so washing dishes for a vocational community, I can make some monster desert. Can you get online virtual spiritual advisors? Oh well, I’m sure my brain will eventually congeal back into some sort of usable mass, at some point. Until then I will muddle through.

Shopping for churches ...

The conduct of the clergy in our church has become such a detriment to the spiritual health of our family that BigDaddy and I are shopping for a new church. Unfortunately the nearest Episcopal Church (aside from the one we were attending) is forty miles away and not in our Diocese. It isn’t the Episcopal Church we wish to get away from, just this particularly unhealthy one. At this point we are considering the local United Methodist church for occasional attendance and driving to another Episcopal church within our Diocese once a month in order to stay in good communion. BigDaddy and I are very involved in various activities in the Diocese and refuse to give that up because of the atrocious behavior of a few individuals. BigDaddy is the most laid back; go with the flow sort of guy that you’ll ever meet, so you know it’s getting bad when even he heads for the door. So, its church shopping we go… which to me begs the question, if you could go shopping and pick out a congregation that would fit you, what would it look like ?
What would be your qualifiers and what would be the things that would send you running for the door? Inquiring minds want to know.

God Bless The Brigade

Here's three cheers for the smoothest run unit you will ever see . They sneak in, accomplish their objective and vanish into the night with most people never realizing that they were there. Theirs is largely a thankless job, but they understand that it needs to be done. I'm sure they get tired of it and I'm sure that they, on occasion, even complain about having to be the ones to do it , but I have never seen one of them shirk their duty. There seams to be a great deal of camaraderie amongst the Brigade especially since it is a group that very few actually ask to join. The requirements are few , but those that exist must be adhered to ...
1) You must be female
2) You must be at least 65 years of age
3) You must be made of a "strong moral fiber"
Being a widow is not required, nor is having white hair, but does seem to be a trend.
They are in most places a loosely affiliated bunch, although there is a division of the Brigade in my area who call themselves the Merry Widows , they meet weekly to discuss battle strategy over
muffins and decaf . They are often given mocking names by those outside the group. In my congregation they are referred to as "The Graces" for at times ,especially if you don't agree with them, it takes a significant amount of grace to deal with them. BUT , if you removed The Graces our church would cease to function in under a week. As would other churches and social organizations across the world , I am fairly certain. GO ahead, I dare you to try to plan a funeral with out them. I have been mulling this over in me noggin for the last week or so especially in light of recent events, that FEMA should not be run by the government, but by The Brigade .
Things would get done quickly, smoothly, efficiently and with lots of coffee, tea and cookies for every one. Less politics ... more practicality .... LONG LIVE THE BRIGADE !!!!

Congregational Apathy

Well, it happened . After all of the begging and pleading , we could not find two people in our congregation who would volunteer to teach Sunday School once or twice a month. What causes a congregation to get to this point. The vast majority of our members refuse to engage in any church activity that requires that they devote more than 15 - 20 min. per month . We had a yard sale for one of our outreach programs this past weekend , people were glad to drop off their donated items, but no one volunteered to stay and help .( With the exception of the same 3 or 4 people who do almost everything else. ) No one wants to be responsible for anything, most will say, "just call if you need anything" . I've come to find out, through my tenure on vestry and as Chris.Ed. director, and verger, and news letter editor, and choir member and lay reader and Chalicer, that the "anything" people are talking about consists of picking up some soda and cookies from the grocery store down the block and dropping them off before what ever event we are trying to plan actually happens . I truly do thank God for the handful of dedicated volunteers that my congregation has, unfortunately most of them are , like myself, stretched to thin. I am so disgusted at this point I'm not sure what to do. Resigning as Chris.Ed director was my first reaction. I guess only time will tell. Now if you will pardon me , I must go and develop a Sunday School plan that will work when only taught once a month.

Momus is in a quandary ...

Boy did my moral compass have a hissy-fit today , I was reading the news as I am usually loathe to do (ignorance is bliss after all) , and came across a lovely headline stating that Pat Robertson is calling for the assassination of the Venezuelan President !
Robertson , founder of the Christian Coalition, has decided that Hugo Chavez is a “terrific danger” to our country because he aims to make Venezuela a " launching pad for communist infiltration and Muslim extremism” . Just out of curiosity, is it possible to be a communist and a Muslim extremist at the same time ? My first reaction was that Pat Robertson has finally gone off his nut. Here is the leader of a major Christian organization calling publicly for the murder of another human being. Sounds a bit wrong, does it not ? Mr. Robertson’s justification is this … "We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability," Why you may ask … Pat says … “it’s cheaper than starting a war " BUT THEN my moral compass did it’s little turn south . In a way , I have to agree with Pat Robertson (something I NEVER would have thought possible) A couple of well place assassinations here and there could have helped avert some of the most horrific moments in our history … ie.. Adolf Hitler. With out his magnetic personality , the Third Reich would have come to it’s end much sooner. I’m not saying that every disagreeable dictator should suffer some fatal “accident” , HOWEVER , neither am I opposed to using the type of diplomacy that comes with a .762 shot to the noggin’ , if the situation calls for it . I guess the hard part is who gets to decide that sort of thing and how . What sort of a barometer does one use to gauge the value of one life over another. Would I loose any sleep if Sadam Hussein had an unfortunate run with the Grim Reaper ? NOPE !! But I don’t think making a martyr of him is a very good idea either. I have found that I could argue both sides of this coin all day long with out having to invite any one else into the argument. On one hand , I believe the taking of an innocent life to be a vile thing , however I have no problem with the death penalty at all. Provided it is applied justly . To me the blatant murder of another human being is wrong , but at the same time our small town has recently seen one of its residents charged with molesting at least fifteen children , and molested another child while out on bond in some other town … I would have no problem at all with seeing him swing freely in the breeze , perhaps I could even find it in my heart to provide the rope . I guess that is why we have “situational ethics” . Momus is in a quandary .

The Great Sunday School Rebellion

We had a planning meeting for the Christian Education Dept. Monday evening and as the Chris. Ed. Director, I was obliged to attend. What a disaster that turned into . Does anyone out there have the secret to getting dedicated volunteers ? What is so terrifying about elementary aged children that makes my congregation refuse to volunteer to teach Sunday School ? The two teachers that I have for that age group have been teaching for a number of years and have been very flexible and committed to the program, however they are getting ready for a change of the guard more or less . They informed me if I didn't come up with at least two more teachers , so that they would only have to teach every other Sunday, that they are gonna quit. I am willing to jump in and teach that age group (I have done it before) so really I only need one person who would commit to teach every other Sunday. Priest , to her credit, was trying to help come up with a solution which so far is begging from the pulpit . YouthGuy and PostulantWoman were carrying on their own little conversation in their own little world paying no heed to what we were trying to work out. I'm thinking perhaps next time I should let those two just have their own meeting. It would have been real nice if one of them could have volunteered to teach one of the younger classes , they could alternate. But in retrospect, I have never seen either one of them very eager to work with the younger guys . They both have a "passion for the youth" instead , fine and wonderful except that we only have two "youths" in our "youth Dept" who show up on a regular basis. I'm praying for some Divine intervention, until it comes, I think I'm gonna break out the church directory and start begging.

The new "root of all evil"

A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of attending a conference sponsored by the national Episcopal Church called "Will Our Children Be Stewards ?" . The title it's self poses a question worthy of much thought and discussion. If only the answer could be hashed out at a 4 day conference. While I applaud the church for asking the question and inviting me to join the discussion, I am a little worried that perhaps the church is spending a great deal of effort fighting the wrong fire. The main theme of the conference seemed to be that media advertising , especially that which comes from the television, is the root of all our children's issues and their parents problems. We were given stacks of statistics on how much the advertising industry spends targeting our children and how many American children are now overweight, diabetic and clinically depressed because of it . According to several of the speakers the scenario goes as follows ... Little Mickey and Sarah are your average American children . Each week these children are taking in a full 38 hours of commercial media, that doesn't include internet, billboards and the "omnipresent brand logos" that bombard them every day. At least four times per day Mickey sees an ad for McDonald's and as a result Little Mickey is now seriously overweight because he insists on eating at McDonald's at least three times per week. Because Little Mickey is overweight he suffers from low self esteem and has become a behavior problem in school and is put on anti-depressant medications to help combat this. In the mean time across the hall Sarah is watching MTV with its ever present ads for the GAP and Old Navy and their message that if you don't wear our brands you suck as a human being. Sarah then goes to school and terrorizes the children who can't afford to live up to the MTV cultural norm. In the eyes of the speakers there is an obvious cause and effect going on in these situations . I agree, however I do not feel that the answer is to get congress involved by passing a "Parent's Bill of Rights" that would ban television advertising aimed at children under twelve years old. It would forbid schools and such organizations such as PTA from having sponsors such as Coca-Cola because they in turn give out freebies with the Coke logo on them. Here is where the conference leaders and I part ways , I have no doubt that the average American kid (mine included) sees way to much commercial advertising , however I don't think it is the responsibility of congress or the church to fix it. The answer is not to ban all advertising and commercial sponsors for such functions as PTA , most schools and related childrens programs are so under funded that sponsors like Coca-Cola and McDonald's are desperately needed. After much though and deliberation I have come up with a plan to combat such advertising nightmares and "marketing-related diseases" in children that I would like the church to consider endorsing , if not in place of the "Parents Bill of Rights" at least along side it and given equal billing. My solution is called "The Act of Personal Responsibility" and is goes as follows....
If you don't like your children drinking excessive amounts of the Coca-Cola products that are being advertised on the pencils that the PTA is selling for a fundraiser , then don't buy them excessive amounts of Coca-Cola products. If Little Mickey is becoming overweight because he watches four ads for McDonald's everyday ... pull the plug on the TV , make him go outside and play and stop feeding him at McDonald's three times per week. Little Mickey will perhaps savor his treat of a McDonald's cheese burger having bought it with his own money that he has earned raking the lawn . Chances are he may even loose a little weight in the process. If Sarah can't stop tormenting her classmates because they are not as "privileged" as she is ... remove her privileges.... if she earns her own money, then she can do her own shopping at Old Navy if not, then she can deal with whatever you buy for her. Institute an "attitude tax" (my daughter HATES this with a passion) every time she gives attitude to you or someone undeserving of such attitude tax her for it. Unplugging the cable or internet makes for a great tax on a smart mouth. And nothing seems to bring out the seriousness of your statement like making them do all of those chores that are normally rewarded with a weekly allowance for free. And just on a personal note , that jar of quarters and dollar bills (depending on the infraction) adds up fast and makes for a great trip to the bookstore for Mom !! My basic point is that the media can advertise until it is blue in the virtual face , but if parents will enforce some basic rules it will fall largely on deaf ears. In my mind TV and media are not the roots of all evil , but lack of parental involvement comes awfully close . On a positive note a small part of the conference was aimed at helping parents make generous, well grounded and caring adults out of their children. I'll get behind that any day.

It's about time ....

Some would say it's way past time and there is a small minority who are hoping that the past will stay burried in the past. This week Senators Christopher Dodd (Dem. Conn.) and Jim Talent (Rep. Mo.) are introducing a bill that would set up a new unit withing the Justice Dept. to investigate and hopefully solve old civil rights crimes, lynchings and murders that occured before 1970. However I must say that in most cases it is going to be 'too little .. too late' ,memories are getting dim and a good deal of the witnesses and the perpetrators themselves are long since dead. I'm sure that the distant family of Emmett Till will get some sense of satisfaction from the Gov't. finally stating publically that Roy Bryant and J.W. Milam are guilty of murder. Less than a month after being aquitted Bryant and Milam bragged to reporter William Bradford Huie from 'Look Magazine' (Jan.24, 1956) about how they kiddnapped, beat and shot 14 year old Emmitt then tied his body to a cotton gin fan and threw him into the Tallahatchie river . The federal Government didn't see the need to step in back then, after all, he was only a black child and he did do the unspeakable act of which he was accused ..whistling at a white woman in public. This new unit in the justice Dept. will also be tasked with helping states that are doing their own investigating, such as Mississippi, which has just convicted Ray Edgar Killen of manslaughter in the 1964 slayings of three civil rights workers in Philidelphia , Mississipppi. Senator Dodd stated, " The people who perpetrated these crimes should never have a day of peace" . This has to be one of the few times that I will admitt to agreeing with a politician. however, it would be even better if the people who perpetrated these crimes had spent the last fifty years living a miserable existance on a chain gang in Mississippi rather than enjoying the smug satisfaction of knowing that they got away with murder .

Exercises in Futility ...

Anyone out there want a quick lesson in extreme frustration ? I have the perfect solution ... go and try to adopt a child from the Pennsylvania Foster Care System !!! We began this journey about one year ago, we didn't realize what we were getting into. As far as the children them selves go we know what we are in for and are not strangers to children with severe emotional problems. What we were totally unprepared for was the workings of the system itself. It took us almost two months just to get the paperwork done, then there were the mandatory parenting classes (we have two kids already, so this was a bit unnecessary) there were interviews and book lists and training documentation statements. And MORE PAPERWORK. Not to mention the home inspections and interviews with our biological children. In the midst of this we had to move which delayed us somewhat, we had another child in our temporary care which delayed us again as the agency could not proceed until this child was safely settled in her new home, then there were weeks of holidays and a months vacation by our caseworker. There were a few delays getting the needed certified documents from Alabama to prove that we were indeed born and were married. So now that we have everything in place we have been told that our file has been open too long (almost a year) and will have to be denied because of it. We decided that we are going to adopt a sibling group and are moving into a bigger house so that we will have room to put them and have been told that this makes us look unstable. Well, the state says I can't make them sleep in the closet , what else were we supposed to do ? So after we get moved into our larger , holds more siblings home we get to start the process over again !! I wonder if they have ever explained this to the 3000 children in foster care in PA. ??

I'm back

But not together enough to write about anything of value. As soon as my brain congeals I'll come up with something.

Vacation !!!

The Militant family is on vacation enjoying the sun and heat of South Alabama . Wish y'all were enjoying it with us. So much sun ... so little vacation !!!! We're off to the beaches of North Florida this weekend. Jealous yet??

Female Chauvinist

This is probably going to get me more hate mail than anything I have said or written in a long while. I have , after much consideration, come to the conclusion that women should not be ordained as clergy. At least not without some serious checking into their plan of action regarding what they intend to do with their families. Older women …fine as long as they have the support of their significant other (same goes for men) and women with no children … fine , women whose children are older, teenagers perhaps, would be ok as long as the woman in question could prove that her pursuit of ordination is not going to affect her children and family in a negative way. This would be largely irrelevant for women who were ordained before they had children , because they would be in a normal state of affairs for a working woman. ( I don’t agree with that either tho’) Unless you are a single mother and MUST work to support your children, you need to be at home with those children teaching them right from wrong. Why bother having children if you are simply going to farm them off on some daycare provider , who in the end is really the one raising your children. I am beyond disgusted with my church at this point because they applaud and praise these women at every turn for what really boils down to abandoning their children. Do these women really think that their children will be any happier with their mothers choices a few years from now than they are now ? Do they think their kids are going to simply forget that feeling of abandonment ? Chances are they are going to be holding a grudge against the church and possibly God himself for giving their mother a “calling” that she see as more important than her kids. Even the kids pick up on this, we were having one of those family conversations on our way home from church not long ago . We were discussing what each of had decided to give up or what discipline to adopt for the season of Lent . The conversation covered ourselves and those we knew from our church as well as some of our Catholic friends who practice Lenten devotions as well. After deciding that BigDaddy was giving up all forms of sodas , I, instead of giving up something took on the task of keeping a prayer journal, SpazBoy gave up chocolate and GirlyChild like her dad , gave up sodas . We covered the fact that the priest was giving up buying books during Lent (a MUCH bigger challenge than you would think ) as the good father is a major bibliophile, and I had one friend who was determined to overcome her major gossip habit during lent. As we continued down along the list of friends and acquaintances GirlyChild brings up the case of our friend PostulantWoman . GirlyChild sounds off from the depths of the depths of the minivan with “ I know what Mrs.xxxx (PostulantWoman) is giving up for Lent” . We were somewhat confused as PostulantWoman had stoped going to church with her own children in order to do an internship with another group of churches for her ordination process, so none of us had seen her in quite a while and had no idea when GirlyChild may have spoken to her. But never the less we said “ well , what would that be ?” GirlyChild simply answers back “HER FAMILY” . What exactly do you say to a statement like that ? We were at a loss, neither one of us really agree with what PostulantWoman is doing , (BigDaddy is more supportive than I am ) but didn’t want to say anything really negative to GirlyChild about her friends mom. ( I personally lost any respect for her long ago) If our kids are noticing these things from the outside what must her own kids kids be going through. The longer I watch these things affect families the less inclined I am to agree with ordination for women with children who are young enough to be hurt by it. The church will be around when your kids are older , please realize that your children are your FIRST and MOST IMPORTANT “calling” from God !!
Let the hate mail begin !!!

To the people of South Wrenzori ...

We have not forgotten you , nor will we hindered by the actions of a man so absorbed in his own self righteousness that he is willing to sacrifice the well being and in some cases the lives of the people in his Diocese in order to make a political point . For a “man of God “ Bishop Tembo seems to be all to willing to throw out the Baby with the bathwater, “ Asserting that the South Rwenzori Diocese "upholds the Holy Scriptures as the true word of God," and implying that the Pennsylvanian diocese -- by supporting a gay bishop -- does not, Bishop Tembo proclaimed the two dioceses to be in "theological conflict," thus leading him to reject all ties to his brothers and sisters in Christ living in and around Harrisburg.” You do not have to agree with or even tolerate homosexuality to see that what Bishop Tembo has done is terribly wrong, however Bishop Tembo is not such an obstacle that he cannot be circumvented , although he rejected the money, medical personel and supplies being offered by the Diocese of Central PA. in favor of towing the party line his people will not suffer for it for our Diocese has partnered with the Bishop Masereka Foundation, an independent charity that operates in southwest Uganda to assist victims of HIV/AIDS and their families. There is an old expression that when God closes one door , he opens another , I feel that there is no truer case than this. Even though Africa only houses 10 percent of the worlds total population it is home to 90 percent of the worlds HIV/AIDS orphans , it is estimated that by the year 2010 that there will be 40 MILLION AIDS orphans in Africa , most of them being in the sub-Saharan region that Bishop Tembo calls home. Perhaps the good Bishop can be so cavalier because his own five children have never been touched by the Aids epidemic, nor have they ever had to beg for food or watched their parents and extended family die and wonder what will happen to them now. A very sad and alarming side note to this is that many conservative “Christians” in this country have applauded Bishop Tembo and support his decision to reject our money, help and prayers that are being offered to his people. While I agree that holding to one’s religious convictions is a good thing , I personally belive that perhaps they have chosen the wrong conviction to latch on to . When asked point blank which commandment is the greatest one of all Christ replied “ To love the Lord your God with all your heart , mind and soul and to love your brother as your self .” If you love your brother as yourself how do you let him suffer and die in the name of “Theological Conflict” ? ‘Tis a good thing that in the end Bishop Tembo will be answering to God and not me , for I’m fairly sure that God is more forgiving . To the families of South Wrenzori , our prayers have always been with you , and thanks to the Bishop Masereka Foundation , our medical supplies and financial help will be with you too. “ O God, you have taught us to keep all your commandments by loving you and our neighbor: Grant us the grace of your Holy Spirit, that we may be devoted to you with whole heart, and united with one another with pure affection; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen” Book of Common Prayer

Just for the heck of it...

Seventeen Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point A Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with That.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In".
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Sexual Favors"
7. Finish all Your Sentences With "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8 dont use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
11. Sing Along At The Opera.
12. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme
13. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.
14. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
15. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling"Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
16. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.......
17. Forward this message

Subliminal messages

I will admit that I grew up in a land where “yes Sir”, “ yes Ma’am” , “please” and “thank you” were not only appreciated but expected , I will also admit that I don’t expect everyone to be familiar with those particular social graces. While I must concede that rude Southerners do exist (they usually end up as outcasts and have to relocate Chicago.) they are much rarer than a foreigner might actually believe. Before I moved away from the Deep South I considered a man (young or old) who didn’t hold the door for a lady (young or old) to be the epitome of rude. Holy Cow , was I in for a shock !! Since leaving Alabama we have lived literally all over the world and in every place we have called home people seemed to pleasantly surprised with how polite my children are, except for other transplanted Southerners , they expect it . I certainly expect it of my own kids and I used to expect it from other peoples kids , not any more . Having lived in northern PA. for the past 6 years very little surprises me when it comes to the behavior of kids . I have had to change my strategy from threatening to call their parents to report their behavior to dropping subtle hints to the kids themselves because their parents just don’t care. Shortly after we moved here, we had a small army of children playing out in the front yard , I was not surprised when one wandered into the kitchen ,However, I was appalled when he opened his mouth and said “Hey Melissa, I’m thirsty, give me a drink” The concepts of Please, Thank you, May I , or Excuse me had never crossed his mind. I was floored, up until that moment, I had never been addressed in such a way by a 7 year old child , but I quickly realized that it wasn’t really his fault , he was never taught any other way. Fast forward to last night , we were feeding our kids, and a few others who asked of they could eat with us, when in walks a little guy (about 8 years old) they had been playing with . I had no idea what his name was forget about knowing where he lived or what was or wasn’t okay for him to eat, but I digress, he walks into the house, grabs a plate,fills up said plate and sits down at the table and proceeds to eat like he lived here. Thankfully, I have gotten used to such odd behavior from the local kids and wasn’t terribly shocked, we simply introduced ourselves as the parents of the house and gave him a drink to go with his dinner. Little does the poor kid know that he has just entered phase one of the Militant HouseWife subliminal training program !! Give me one month and I’ll have him actually asking for a plate before he sits down to eat at our table and if I work real hard maybe he’ll even say thanks when he’s done eatin’.

Defending our '"Episcopalness'"

We are currently in the planning stages for our trip home(south Alabama) for a two week visit in June and as I was thinking about the logistics of such a trip it occurred to me that because we have lived in Northern Pennsylvania for the last five years there are some things that I will have to prepare our kids for in advance. For instance, because the sun never shines full force in Potter County, PA. they have no clue as to what 102 degrees with 98% humidity feels like, it could be quite a shock if they aren't warned first. Personally, I live for weather like that but the kids have spent most of their formative years living in the Allegheny Mountains and will probably start wilting by the time we get as far south as Maryland. There is also the language barrier, at times my daughter talks so fast she sounds like Smurfette on crack. I find myself translating even for our yankee friends so I can imagine how the conversations at my inlaws are gonna go ... Papa says, " Hey there little Smiley , how was the drive down ?" To which Girly Child replies .."OOOH MYYY GOSH...PapayoushouldhaveseenthiscarwepassedinGeorgiathey
hadeightkidstwodogs,threecatsandafullsetoffishingtackleallshovedintoa
brightpurpleYugowithasetofsteerhornsforahoodornament."
At which point Papa will nod and smile like he knows exactly what she said, Papa later takes BigDaddy out behind the barn to voice his displeasure at what has become of his grandchildren.
Unfortunately I fear the one thing the kids are going to have to be prepared for most is the constant questioning of our faith, not so much our faith but how we choose to express it. As much as I do love my mother-in-law , her constant insistence on turning every topic back to HER religious views does get tiresome. She fears we are sending her grandchildren straight to hell and I'm sure she will not hesitate to tell them so when we are out of hearing range. Don't get me wrong, I have every confidence in my children's ability to defend themselves and their faith as they have done it before. They were recently kicked out of the neighborhood bible study group for refusing to admit that homosexuality is evil and all homosexuals are going straight to hell regardless of what sort of spiritual or ethical person they were. The bible study teacher pointed out that it was after all written the Bible and therefore was true beyond a shadow of a doubt. SpazBoy asks , "how can you believe that?" Teacher states, "because God wrote the Bible and every word in it is to believed and revered with out question" To which SpazBoy replies , "but men wrote the books of the Bible, look it even has their names on it." Teacher states emphatically , "NO MEN DID NOT WRITE THE BIBLE ... God took their hands and made them write His exact thoughts down so we could know them !!" At which point SpazBoy simply remarks , "Well , doesn't that then completely negate the concept of free will ?" (he maybe a complete SPAZ but he has an IQ of 150 and knows when to pull out his "SMART WORDS" as he calls them.) Teacher had no good argument for this one and sent the kids home. She later called me to express her great concern for my children because of the "evil seed" that the Episcopal Church had planted in them. SpazBoy will now occasionally comment that it is time for him to go water or fertilize his "evil seed" . I really have no doubts that our children know where they stand with God , however helping them to withstand a two week constant barrage of comments, questions and accusations coming from their own extended family is going to be quite a challenge.

What do they think they are accomplishing ?

It's getting down to the end of the school year again and once again we find our selves preparing to jump through more governmental hoops involving the kids education. For those of you who may not know, Pennsylvania is one of the most heavily regulated states when it comes to homeschooling. I often find myself wondering what exactly it is that the state is hoping to accomplish by imposing so many restrictions and demands on home teachers. For the record, I don't particularly care to be labeled a "homeschooler or hometeacher" I am simply a parent doing what I feel is is part of my job ... making sure that my children are prepared to be responsible productive members of society. I have heard most of the arguments and "compelling reasons" put forth by the state as to why we should be so regulated ... for our own good of course, they must keep up with the progress of our children so that if they fall behind the kids can be tossed back into the public school and "fixed" to the states liking. These are the same people who promote children who fail to achieve any thing even close to a minimum GPA so as not to damage their self esteem. This is the same state that regularly graduates seniors who are lucky if they can read at a fifth grade level. Schools in Pennsylvania are congratulated every year and are considered to have made 'Adequate Yearly Progress' if 35 percent of its students are considered proficient in math and 45 percent in reading. So if your school has 400 students the state considers it successful if 140 of those students can read and and do basic math adequately. And the state worries about my kids !!!!